[aephi alum]

There needs to be closure to any breakup. Otherwise, there's going to be a lot of raw emotion on the part of both parties.

The closure shouldn't happen at the moment of the breakup - it can't, really. It's just cruel to suddenly say to someone out of the blue, "We're through, here's some stuff you left over at my place, oh and by the way, you're terrible in bed and you have no personality." It's doubly cruel if the dumpee thought things were going well up until that moment. Both of you will be emotional and it's not the right time for a diatribe.

Let some time go by, a few weeks, a couple of months, whatever, until you can stand to be in each other's presence. Then, try to have a mature conversation about why things didn't work out. Usually both partners bear some of the "blame" for why the relationship didn't last.

And while we're on the topic of breakups, for heaven's sake, be a gentleman or a lady and break up with your S.O. in person, or at least on the phone. Don't wimp out and use IM, email, text messaging, etc.