[lovelyivy84]

I don't think that spoiled is something that can be measured by the amount or severity of your chores.

Spoiled, as the article pointed out, is about how you react to dissapointment and being told no.

For example- I have two sets of cousins. In one family they really don't use corporal punishment, and aren't that strict. They talk to their kids a LOT, show a lot of positive reinforcement. I LOVE the kids.

In the other family corporal pumoshment is not overused IMO, but it IS a regular threat. They have a lot more obligations in the house and live a MUCH more structured life. I LOVE these kids too.

Limits are clearly set for both sets of kids, and there are consequences for bad behavior.

Results? When away from their parents it is MUCH easier to deal with the kids who have a bit more freedom and less corporal punishment, even though by the standards of the rest of my family they are spoiled. With the second set of kids they don't listen unless you are prepared to hit them or seriously punish them. With the other kids they respond way better to just asking them to cooperate with you. No need to threaten to get good behavior. I dont play favorites, but it's just much more pleasant to be around the first set of kids because I dont have to play the heavy or be annoyed all night.

Just my observations. I like treating children with a certain expectation of good behavior and a certain level of trust and respect. I dont think that means they're spoiled.