[darling1]

Originally posted by StrangeFruit

I spoke to a BrothaFriend of mine that was around me and my mother during the earlier years (before she booted me out). Actually this friend was my "first" and when my mother found out that I was doin the do, she called me a bitch and said, "I hope you don't get AIDS and he only wants you for you puzzy."

I just want a healthy relationship with my mother and I don't think it's healthy right now. I still feel that it's my fault and that I need to do something other than distance myself, but that's what I may have to do, as so many have suggested.

Thanks again for listening or reading.

Peace, Power & Infinite Blessings [/B]

I think I was also a sophomore in college when my mother called me out of my name. I couldn't believe it!!

I know you want a healthy relationship with your mother. What daughter wouldn't? However, you must get to a point where you look at you at your life, who you are and what it is you will and will not accept. You have got to reach a point where you CHOOSE YOU, healthy, happy and peace and you must choose to surround yourself with people that will help you achieve that. Your mother at this time in incapable of that for a variety of reasons. She is a grown woman and it is not your job to help her through what ever stuff she is dealing with. We honor our parents by taking the positive lessons we've learned from them and applying them to our lives. We honor our parents by being good parents. We don't honor them by enabling their behavior. My mother believes that by virtue of that fact that she gave birth to me and my siblings, it entitles her to act like a child and not respect us. It is safe to say this thinking is true for your mother. That is simply not so. Our parents don't own us.

SF, I think that there is guilt running all through you. For me, I had to cut ties, surround myself with positive people and go through some serious therapy to get to where I am today. This may not work for you but it has helped me and many of my friends who have dealt with dysfunctional families.

Whatever you feel may work for you to deal with this, I suggest now is the time to seek those methods out. You need to take care of you so that you can ultimately forgive yourself and then begin the process of forgiving your mother. It is then can you truly enjoy your life and all that it entails.

I am praying for you!