[btb87]

SF,

I hope I"ll be more of a help than a hinderance here, but where she's right about the Bible saying that you should honor your mother and father (that your days will be longer upon the earth) you shouldn't honor anyone that doesn't honor you. It also says that parents shouldn't provoke their children to wrath! Wonder if she read that part?

Anyway, I'm not in your position, but it seems as though you've done what you can as far as a child trying to get closer to their parents and she's turning from that. It may be time to back off a little. If she doesn't want surprise visits, then fine. Maybe just phone her every once in a while, but do what you've done knowing that you have done the best you can do. No one can fault you or blame you for that. Don't let her continually try to take you on a guilt trip. And who knows? Sounds like she may be feeling guilty about not being the type of mother that you needed (or need) and the only way she knows how do deal with you is with a long-handled spoon.

My biological 'seed donor' tried that mess with me about 10 years ago, telling me that I need to call my grandmother. Well, I never had a relationship with them, and I told him that she could have just as easily called me as I could call her. Why wait until I'm grown, married, with a child of my own to try to become my grandmother?

Anyway, I digress. . . as I've said, don't take a trip anywhere you don't want to go.