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I believe that there is something inborn, which may change after a severe psychological trauma, but that mainly, it's inborn. Of course, I'm basing this on observation of my own children, not scientific methods. By 6 or 8 months old, my son smiled differently at pretty women than he did with men. He was definitely flirting with waitresses, etc. My daughter was flirty with men around the same age. When my son was 3, and we went to Disney World, he and my daughter sat with Ariel the mermaid for a picture and he was blushing and giggling. My daughter was 5 and, although she was impressed, she didn't react the same way. If there was a sudden change in their obvious preferences, then I would figure that something had happened environmentally. But, just as we can't choose which members of the opposite sex make us feel giddy inside, homosexuals can't choose who makes them feel giddy. Each of my kids has already experienced a crush on a classmate or teacher of the opposite gender and did so before 3rd grade.
I don't think that any of us can choose who we are sexually attracted to. I've been out with plenty of nice, good looking guys for whom I felt no "chemistry" and I've never felt "chemistry" with a woman. I can't control who I feel chemistry with!
Sometimes you might feel chemistry with someone that you know you can't be with.. someone who is married, a co-worker, etc. You just suppress it and get on with life. So you do choose who you decide to pursue a relationship with. But, if someone only has feelings for members of your same gender, is it really fair to ask them to suppress that and not enjoy a loving, romantic relationship for their entire life??? And, some will argue pedophiles have to suppress their feelings, but I see that as different because pedophiles' relationships aren't between two consenting adults.
I have a hard time seeing what is wrong with two consenting adults choosing to commit themselves to each other for life. It is what we encourage heterosexuals to do.
Dee
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