Quote:
Originally posted by AchtungBaby80
Cashmoney, if you will relinquish your thread for just a moment...
OK, Cashmoney, you can have your thread back. 
|
Its Ok, miss I love to hijack Craig's threads.
ZTAngel-
My opinion is a little different than Achtungbaby80's. I think you should date someone for at least 3-4 yrs inorder to fully know them, what they're like, what their habits are. This way you get to fully see what annoys you about them, their issues you can/can't handle, how they deal with things/situations, etc etc etc. Anything less han 3 years, you're taking a chance of not fully knowing them. I don't know about a lot of people, but having been in the relationships I've been in and gone through the stuff I have....I realize the importance of not rushing into things that can affect you for life. I think a common misconception many people have is that they think they are ready, but they're really not. Fortunately I'm one of those people who can set his passion and heated love aside and tell myself that I need to wait a while before making a big decision such as something like marriage, no matter how much I love/wanna be with the lady in question. Its called having common sense and thinking logically, its something a lot of people don't have and can't do!
Also, there's something you have to understand about Achtungbabys example. The people she's mentioned were her parents. Apparently they arent together anymore and both divorced, and they found new spouses. Now her dad is splitting up with #2. I think her dad has problems based on splitting up with two women. Obviously her mom is fine, she's been married for over 18 yrs. I'm wondering if both her parents had dated for awhile her mom would have figured out her dad has issues and woulda been together at all? That said, time probably would have made all the difference. Now, this is of course assuming both of her biological parents were married and she wasn't born out of wedlock ( you don't have to answer that achtung). If her bio-parents were never married.....I'll have to fill you in on that can of worms and my view on it.
Here's an example from my life:
My parents have been married going on 26 yrs. And it hasnt been all peachy. Based on my thoughts in the first paragraph, my own parents could prove me wrong in a sense. My mom and dad dated for 9 months and got married. They're still married. There were a lot of things about each of them that the other learned that happened after they were married. Stuff each of them just had to deal with. Stuff they woulda been better off knowing before marriage and probably wouldn't have got married had they learned them beforehand. Yet, they still loved each other. As a child I remember things always being fairy tale like on having the perfect childhood. My dad was always my football coach each year from age 6-14 until I entered middle school. My mother always took me shopping with her and showed me off to her friends, she taught me to have a sense of fashion. My dad would take me fishing with him out in the ocean and we'd go air boating in the Everglades. I had a good chilhood. However, during my 10th grade year in highschool shit almost went down the tube. My mom busted my dad cheating on her, red handed chillin with the woman. Its a long story on why it ended up happening. When I found out my dad had an affair, thats when I realized how different from each other they were. Fortunately they ended up reconciling and both of them changed the way they were inorder to make things work and hold our family together. My mom changed what she was doing wrong and my dad quit cheating on her. It is my belief that had they dated for a long enough of a period of time, they wouldn't have went through the crap they did because they would have seen their differences eventually. Fortunately for our family they ended up not getting divorced. Most families are not as lucky. And I think it largely had to do with my mom changing more than my dad. My mom has been through some crap in her marriage, sometimes when I think about it I feel bad for her. After seeing some of the stuff she's went though and watching how it affected her, I don't ever want to put my future wife through any of that. Thats why I say its important to make sure you know the other person better than they know themselves. And you need to make sure that is absolutly what you want for life. And only spending a large amount of time with the other person will be able to determine whether or not you two should be married. Granted, people do change with time. But based on past experiences of my life and the lives of others, I think a long period of dating someone is what is needed.
Hope I helped-
Craig
BTW- Have any of you ever had boyfriends that cheated on you and then you later found out that his dad did it to his wife and his gradnfather did it to his wife? Can cheating on your spouse be genetic? I'm getting worried about that. The reason being because I've cheated on many ex-GFs of mine. I'm wondering if my genetic makeup is what causes that. I don't do it anymore, but I'm still worried about it.