Quote:
Originally posted by chideltjen
Here is my issue.
I AM EVERY MAN'S BEST FRIEND! I have tons of guy friends. I love hanging out with them. Most of my co workers are guys and I go out to lunch with a few of them almost every day (and i am generally the only girl to go with them). When I go to bars and clubs, I have my girls there, but I will also have a few guy friends there and tend to enjoy hanging out with them more. Some of my guy friends know secrets my girl friends don't know. Basically, I am the girl friend, but never the girlfriend. My guy friends don't see me more than that. I have had small crushes on friends but they never worked out. Some I stayed friends with and others I don't speak to. But I need help. I haven't been on a date in almost a year and I am always scared of going into the dating situation only to give off a friends/lil sister vibe. What am I doing wrong?
A lil background on me: my last LT relationship ended almost 2 years ago. My ex was emotionally abusive and probably cheated on me. (Still TBD but i honestly wouldn't want to know.) Most of the guys I have dated since then have turned sour. Either I don't speak to them or something like that.
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Wow! You're a rare thing these days.
In case you havent figured out why you have a lot of guy friends, it's because you probably don't b!tch that much....do you? Think about it, what are the two main reasons why guys quit dating chicks? 1. We find someone else that looks better or 2. The girl b!tches too much. I'm assuming you're a decent looking girl, right? Most guys don't like having cool ugly chicks around them, that explains why its very rare for a girl to have basically all guy friends.
You've actually got it really good. Obviously you're a cool girl to hang out with since a lot of guys like you. Now all you need to do is start up a game with who ever you want. You probably need to flirt with some of those guys and act like a b!tch a little more.
I wouldn't be trying to hook up with my friends if I were you. I'd go out and find guys that don't have any idea who my other guy friends are (If you're anything like me, thats harder than what ya think). In my college crew we have 9 guys and 1 girl who are my close friends. All but one of us randomly met in 1998, my freshman year. The chick in our group is like how you are to your guy friends, she's one of us. We know every thing she's ever done, she's the female version of us. And thats the reason why none of us would ever date her despite some of us having sex with her. I kid with her all the time and tell her she's got a dirty clit. There was a time where she was bouncing around with half of us in our crew. After awhile I realize she finally figured out why none of us would date her, we just knew too much about her to want to date her. This could be the case with you having problems dating guy friends.
I'd also like to add, I don't think you should be going out looking for a boyfriend. He'll come to you, just have fun right now. Just make sure the guys know you're available. All too often a guy isnt reading the signals right. There has been many times where I thought a chick was just wanting to be friends, who I liked, and it turned out she actually wanted to date. I totally didnt read them right, their friends eventually clued me in.
Things will get better. There are a lot of guys out there that would love to snatch you up. You just need to go out more and meet a bunch of guys. If any of them start liking you more as a freind...just move on to another.
Let me know how things go.
Cash-