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Originally posted by Lady Pi Phi
Ok, here's another one for you...
How do you tell a guy you want more than a sexual relationship without him getting all defensive and blowing you off?
I've tried before, but he gets all weird, then stops talking to me for days, sometimes weeks and when he does start to talk to me it just starts the whole cycle all over again.
I'm not asking him to make a commitment, unless of course it's something he wants too. But how do I tell him how I feel without him freaking out?
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L.P.P.-
Your situation has a easy remedy. You just need to stop having sex with this guy if you want a relationship. A lot of peopel don't realise that you can get your point across without actually saying it. I'm really good at that. Obviously he doesnt want to date you. If he's having sex with you and the two of you arent dating he's using you for sex. Now thats fine if you're using him for sex as well. But, just talk to him and tell him that you want more than just sex. And if he can't deal with that, tell him you guys can't have sex anymore. believe me, when a girl says that to me I think she's a good girl deep donw and respects herself. The whole "I can't make a commitment" or the not calling you by being wierded out can be translated into " I don't want to date you, but we can have sex." The reason why he doenst call for a couple of days or weeks is because he feels shitty about not dating you and having sex while you're hoping for something more. He knows you want more. And the reason why he does call you back is because he hasnt had any since the last time you two had sex. Are you seeing the pattern? Plain and simple, if you want a relationship you need to stop giving it up to him all the time and tell him no more unless you guys start dating. Keep in mind, this is based on the assumption that you two have been doing your thing for a little while now. I'm assuming he's not some new guy that you've been talking for 2 or 3 weeks. Even so, you need to lay the issue on the line and see where he's gonna take it. Tell him the balls in his court, he needs to decide what he's gonna do. And if you don't hear from him after that, then you know you did yourself a favor. The longer you stay with someone who doesnt want to date you.....you're only hurting yourself all the more. You'll be much happier finding someone who really likes you rather than someone whos just having sex with you. For a lot of people sex is just that, sex. It doesnt mean they have feelings for you. Do you understand the point that I'm trying to get across to you? Then again I do know girls that just like having sex with someone and are cool with just having sex. The problem is, whether you realise it or not, sex is an intimate deal. If you keep doing it with the same person all the time you'll soon have feelings for them. You can't help it.
Hope I helped.
Cashmoney-