Quote:
Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
OHhhhhhhhhhhh Soror...
You don't believe in role models?
Going back to your statement that you don't have role models, now, why was it that you went to college, wanted to become an AKA, or wanted to live a "certain" life? I am only being curious. Again, Soror, you have the right to your opinion about this.
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It's not that I don't believe in "leaders", I just don't believe in role models. I think it's because my mother was constantly telling me that I can only depend on Monique, other people will only disappoint you. So for that reason, I never truly looked up to anyone. As far as why I went to college, it seriously wasn't an option for me. I knew I was going to college in 5th grade. I went to college to have a better life than my parents had and to be able to provide a better life for my children. And as far as having a "certain life," I could have said growing up that I wanted certain "things" that someone else may have had. But never, "I want to have a life like his/hers." It's not that I don't think that people can "lead" you in a certain direction, I do, I call that guidance. But I don't emulate people. I can understand someone saying, "I want to be as good a nurse as Mary," or, "I want to play basketball as well as Michael Jordan." What I don't understand is when people say, "I want to be like Mary when I grow up," or "I wanna be like Mike." I don't want to be like anyone. When people look at role models, for lack of a better term, I think that they should focus on the attributes of that person instead of the person themselves. I'm trying to explain this as best I can, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job at it! Sorry!! I think it's fine to have people in our communities that offer guidance and leadership (parents, teachers, aunts, uncles, etc.) and instill good solid morals and values into our children. It is by those standards that we "should" live by. Instead, we live by what people do. I also understand that you should lead by example. But if we stop believing in people, and believe in our morals and values, things like what happened with Jesse would have us so disappointed. We should never be so disappointed in human beings. Our children should be able to say, "Adultery is wrong," not, "Oh no, Jesse committed adultery, I don't know what to believe now." That's what happens. You look up to someone for so many years. Then something foul happens, and you're stuck, mentally exhausted, trying to figure out what went wrong, how could this have happend, so disappointed, and confused on what to believe. When you look up to your role models, you tend to emulate them and their actions. That is where the problem lies. We shouldn't be emulating ANYONE. We shouldn't want to be like anyone but CHRIST.
Ok, I think I came up with a better word. Mentor. I can hang with mentor. Someone to show you the ropes and guide you through. You don't necessarily have to look up to that person, but you can appreciate their wisdom and their experiences, and learn from them. You don't have to want to be like them or look up to them or emulate them. That way if they slip, you can walk away with what you learned and leave the disappointment behind!
Did that help explain it? Sorry this was so long, but yall know I'm long-winded!
