[MareImbrium]

I couldn't resist..haha. Hopefully someone will enjoy all these jokes. I liked the ones I've read so far. These are some real bloopers gathered from various church bulletins and orders of service:

1. The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon.

2. On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the carpet will please come forward to get a piece of paper.

3. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in school days.

4. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north end of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

5. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

6. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth into Joy."

7. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. White to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

8. The choir will meet at the Larsen hourse for fun and sinning.
9. Thursday at 5pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet with the minister in the study.

10. Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

11. Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

12. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

13. The 8th graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

14. Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
15. Don't let worry kill you off--let the church help.