Hi dear, last year I was a junior transfer and joined Alpha Phi. I was of the older girls and had a hard time deciding if being in a sorority was for me. Just like yourself, I support myself completely. I do everything on my own unlike most of my sisters. I completely understand that aspect. Because in one way, you feel as you might be seperated for the fact you dont get assistance from your family and second that it might be a waste of time, effort and funds if you arent getting everything out of Alpha Phi as you expected. Let me say this...in the year Ive been a member, there were a few occasions, sadly where I came to the same point you did. I wanted to drop because I didnt have my sole reason for being in Alpha Phi. I found through trial, error and discussion that Alpha Phi was only for me. And what I mean, is that I wasn't a member for anyone else but myself. That sounds selfish, but at the same time, I am a team player, I love my girls and leave my phone 27/7 for any of them to call for any reason. So overall, I chose Alpha Phi for my future, to help me grow, mature and get connected. Like the other girls have mentioned to you, stand up for yourself, your beliefs. Try not to count your chickens before they hatch. I would have regretted my decision...even if I had gone alum. Girl, only you know what you need to do. Talk to your chapter advisor and she what she has to say...or write her an email if you feel better that way.
Good luck darlin' and I hope things work out. Everything happens for a reason and what doesnt kill you will only make you stronger!!!!