Quote:
Originally posted by Hootie
There are studies that showed that couples that live together before marriage end up divorced. I saw it this summer on the Today Show. If I can (in my spare time) I will find the information and post it so as to not make people assume what I'm saying is just words.
I applaud those that can live together and make it work. For some it's a true blessing and really strengthens the relationship. However there are some downsides.
Living together often gives young, naive couples the impression that they're "Playing House". That things are hunky doorie and nothing bad can ever happen. Then they reach that pivital point where someone did something wrong, they argue, fight, and then don't have seperate rooms to retreat to (granted you don't have that in marriage, but at least in marriage you have the committment).
I'm not saying, by any means, that this happens in all circumstances. Once again I'm speaking from experience. I had a boyfriend live in my parent's house for a few months and it bugged the hell outta my mom cuz of our naive actions. My brother, who is 19, is now going through the same thing. His girlfriend (who is 18) wants to drop outta school/transfer to be with him in Alabama. It be her and 3 guys (including my brother) in one place. That's just ABSURD! That just screams PROBLEM!
I am a lot older and wiser than when I cohabitated with my then fiancee. And that was only 2 years ago!!!! I lived on my own before we shacked up, I supported myself, I was pretty darn self-sufficient...BUT, knowing NOW what I didn't know then, I'd personally never do it again.
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Re: the divorce rates... if you take a look at my post, I do talk about that. Living together doesn't cause divorces - instead they are both caused by more liberal views of marriage and commitment.
I guess we have different views of living together. When I say cohabitation I see a very thought out, planned relationship where the two people move in together with clear expectations and commitments.
I don't agree with shot-gun move-ins because they are just as unlikely to succeed than shot-gun marriages. Why don't we advise people against marriage then? Because we know that every marriage isn't a shot-gun marriage. I'm just asking for the same considerations for cohabitation.
(cohabitation for 34 months and still going strong)