Quote:
Originally posted by Munchkin03
I've always heard that sometimes you may have to work at your marriage, but it shouldn't BE work.
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Of all of the above, the one I absolutley agree with is living on your own.
As for the rest -- all of the discussion, classes, experiences and all the others -- some will work for some couples and some won't.
How much have you changed in he past five to ten years? Do you think you'll stop changing now? When you get married? Don't you think those natural changes will sometimes be in opposition to all of those wonderful understandings and decisions you made prior to getting married?
To me, what makes marriages work or not work is a commitment to staying married. Nothing else. Not living together beforhand, not classes, no long talks into the night, not psychologists, not wealth, not romance -- nothing.
I've been married for almost thirty-five years, and at some points it has been really hard for innumerable reasons.
Fortunately, there have been good reasons to stay together as well.
While all of the ideas listed are good, not a single one of them will hold a marriage together without a solid commitment to the institution.
So, my suggestion of what to do before marriage is to mentally check your personal commitment to "Till death do we part."
Edited to add:
I'm not making a case for ABSOLUTE commitment. I don't think anyone should ever stay in an abusive marriage. But, at the moment although some could exist, I can't think of many more things that would shake that commitment.