Wow. Interesting situation. I agree w/ the "emotional affair" terminology. Back a few years ago I cheated on my then-boyfriend w/ a guy I had such an intense and amazing connection with. My b.f. wasn't understanding of my musical life and that's like 80% of my life now, so it was a wall separating us. I met a guy who felt the same way I do about a lot of things and we talked for hours on end. For at least 2 months it was totally platonic, but he was certainly fulfilling my needs emotionally (something the bf almost refused to do). After a while it did become sexual (sorry, but it's inevitable...this lady will probably go there eventually) and that's when things got hairy. Geez I would never ever do that again. I ended up hurting him, the other guy, and above all, myself. It really damaged my psyche for a while.
What did I learn from all that? Don't settle. If you're with someone who doesn't suit your needs you need to do two things 1) See if your needs are reasonable. Some folks are high maintenance like that.
2) If they are, leave him/her. If they aren't, then get your isht together. Cheating just isn't right. It complicates things far too much.
If I had just left my b.f. I would have saved myself a load of hassle. Such crazy times...
