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When my ex-husband first proposed I told him that it was too soon because we hadn't discussed religion, future goals, etc. We talked at length and agreed that 1) He would attend the Catholic church, possibly convert and had no problem with raising our kids Catholic and 2) We would move to North Carolina before our oldest child reached the age of 5. While we dated we got along great, communicated, were able to compromise, etc. We went through the whole Catholic marriage prep process with ease, agreeing on everything! Everybody thought we were a perfect fit.
Once we were married, he started watching Televangelists and sending them thousands of dollars a year. He never wanted to go out anymore, he stopped communicating altogether and I found out the most by listening to his conversations with his dad on the phone. He even told me one time, when I said we should do something because it sounded fun that "I had fun before I got married, now I want to watch TV". When we went to buy our first house, it turned out that he couldn't live farther than 5 miles from his dad. I inquired about our North Carolina plan and was informed that he had decided he could never move that far away (it was his idea in the first place!). He ended up joining the Baptist church and now my kids are Baptist also.
My point? Just because you discuss all those things, sometimes they are just saying and doing what they think you want so that you'll marry them. Also, sometimes the "committment" of marriage makes them think that they no longer have to work at the relationship at all. I might not have learned all that about him if we'd lived together before we got married, but I WOULD have learned what a total and complete slob he was! LOL .. That would've killed the deal way back then!
Dee
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