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How about this for a solution:
LADIES put the seat up when your done (Clean it once a week like YOU ALREADY SHOULD!! so it still doesnt look nasty) So its easier for your man
GENTLEMEN: Put the toliet seat down after you use it!! (Make your women happy!!)
After a while the men will get used to putting it down and you wont have to keep putting it up to remind them!!
It worked for meeh..im sure it will do the same for you!
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