I myself have never been with an abusive man. Being the only girl in the house with 5 older boys helped me a lot. Back to the question , I do like a tough guy and as MC Lyte once said "ruffneck" but that don't say nothing bout putting those hands on me. Although my man does not have to have these qualities either.
Since we are talking about violence a bit I hope i can tie this in.
Hope this doesn't get too long:
For some reason it seems as though my best friend seems to always choose that man who wants to put his hands on her. Can you say "DRAMA"? At first this guy wasn't like this but he moved to Conn from AL and she went to visit him one month in the summer. I called her to see how she was doing she was kind of quiet so I started asking her questions just for the heck of it ...What's wrong? (nothing) He heatin on you (no gul) really wasn't expectin answer " He hit you? (YES).
All of a sudden she had to get off the phone. He came in the room. I was at home pissed. All the way in Bama and couldn't do jack. Mind you they staying with his momma (who was at work) but told my friend not to call the police because they were real strict in CONN about domestic violence and her son would go to jail for a long time ( I'm like SO). When she finally came home, he and his mother also came for a visit. I was at her house late one night and she was about to take me home...he wants to ride with her. When we get in front of my door this mutha&^#(@# gonna say some stuff to me talking bout stay out of his business or somethin to that effect cause I don't know him.....never wait until you get to my territory to talk %$^& . We went at it and I went in the house it's about 12:00am and got the bruhs and the cuz's, needless to say we whooped his but frim A to Z.
Her now baby daddy was like the high school bully ...burn up folks cars, jump on folks, whateva he felt big and bad enough to do. I am glad that she finally left both of those folks alone.
Yes another story: (I am just trying to give you some examples since you wanted to hear)
Another friend we went to high school and go to college together. Our freshman year in college she was going with this boy from back home (who went to college with us two). I always thought he was the perfect man until I found out he was beatin on her. One day we were about o go home for the wknd. Some of us were wondering where she was b/c it was pass time to go. This girl call me from POPEYES Chicken talking bout she had to jump out the car on the highway cause he was hittin her and then tried to run her over in the parking lot. They eventually broke up but it turned into a tragedy when her high school sweetheart came to visit one day. This boy followed them to a hotel got a room down the hall from them. When he sees her w/o the other guy in the hallway, he snatches her up pulling her into his room, stuffs a towel in her mouth and proceeds to rape her. She calls me from the ER the next morning. He got kicked out of school after that. She is now doing better.
Sorry for the long post
If he tells you he loves you and beats you. In the words of my girl Tina Turner "What's Love Got to Do With It"
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29 Jewels of N.V. # 1
Delta Delta Chapter