Congratulations!!
Hmm... we spent around $20K including the honeymoon. We had 85 guests.
We had a Sunday morning wedding with a lunchtime reception. This is very common for Jewish couples, because you can't get married on the Sabbath. Wouldn't work too well for Christians though
We splurged on the location (just outside Boston), the meal (chicken breast and filet mignon; pasta option for the veggies; "upgraded" hors d'oeuvres), and the band. Our package from the catering hall included a 1-hour open bar (after that we only served beer and wine), and the cake.
We got the flowers and photography relatively inexpensively (they did good work too), and a relative (who isn't very well off financially) did the videography as his wedding gift (ceremony only - we didn't want anyone shoving a video camera in our guests' face at the reception
).
Wedding dress from David's Bridal. I made my own veil, more because I wanted to and because I didn't like anything I saw being sold. Shoes from Payless - no one was gonna see 'em anyway.
The important thing, of course, is that at the end of the day I was married to a wonderful man.
Good luck with all the wedding planning!