WARNING: This will be long!
There are like 4 million emotions running through your head right now! I know I've been there, and I'm sure 99% of everyone else on this board can relate. Recruitment is SO SO PHONY! You must understand this - just wait until next year when you're on the inside...you won't believe half the stuff you're told to do (from Vaseline on your teeth to keep your "SMILE," to the passing out of starlight mints during voting between parties, to tricks to remember the prospectives names....ever wonder why everytime you met a sister during rush they repeated your name like 5 times in their first sentences?
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Then its Bid Day and everybody is SO HAPPY and they are all excited and then BOOM...postpartum syndrome...i.e. the big let down period! All of a sudden you're expected to be at meetings and events, and study hours, etc...and all these girls who were "SO INTERESTED" in you during rush seem to have better things to do, and when you wear your new letters, some sisters don't even recognize you on campus!
All of these are perfectly normal feelings - and while they aren't the warm fuzzies you got during rush, they are a part of growing into your sisterhood. This is where you learn how to live with how-ever-many women (who all come from different backgrounds) and know that you will not always like them and they will not always like you. You will also find the sisters that you wonder how you ever lived without. And you will cry at every single initiation because it is so beautiful and the vows you take will become so much more meaningful everytime! You will know what it feels like to be visiting another town in another state, and see a girl with XO on her necklace/shirt/car/etc. (and no matter if she is beautiful or ugly or super nice or super snobby or driving a Lexus or driving a run-down Ford Escort), she will be your sister. I literally got teary eyed the first time I met an AXO when we were on vacation. She saw my lavalier and ran up to me and just threw her arms around me - it was awesome! And you MUST take the good with the bad. There will be times where you will want to quit - you will doubt yourself and your sisterhood because it is a MAJOR decision in your life. It is the ONLY sorority you will ever belong to. But you need to stick with it awhile and give it a fair shot. Recognize your emotions for what they are, but realize its all a continual growing and learning process.
DISCLAIMER: I am in NO WAY saying that you should stay with a group that promotes hazing and other illegal (or otherwise) practices that makes you feel personally in danger (physically, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise). I am simply trying to share with you the trials and tribulations (but also TREMENDOUS JOYS & PERSONAL SATISFACTION) that are a part of the growing process.
Sorry this is so long, but I hope I have shared some common emotions that many of us have felt during this time. Please feel free to email me if you want to talk. I may not be a Chi-O, but I am a "seasoned" alumnae who remembers these exact feelings from not so long ago! I promise you that if you will give 100%, you will get double that in return! Good luck to you and all of you who are sharing these feelings!
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"Alpha Chi Omega - If you only had 2 wishes, what would your second one be?"