It's very nice that you are able to discount all that the prospective adoptive parent paid out not to mention the emotional roller coaster you put her on, because "he's a blessing from God". I am not saying you should have given the baby up if you truly felt it was wrong. However, you should at least reimburse them for the amount of money they spent on you- I'm sure your God doesn't advise you to just ignore all your responsibilities. Try for one unselfish minute to put yourself in their shoes -"if you are capable".
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