Quote:
Originally posted by thesweetestone
How is it their obligation to pay to in your F@%&in' wedding? My thought is if you can't afford to have the type of wedding of your dream then have the wedding you can afford. Recognize that it is out of kindness not obligation if the bridesmaids pay for their own attire. Yes, it is an honor to be ask to be in a friends wedding. But if, that friend is broke they need to check their attitude and be thankful that they have people willing to help them.
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Whoa -- calm down, thesweetestone.
You're acting as if brides who have their wedding party pay for their own attire are breaching some sort of etiquette and/or are trying to have a million dollar wedding at the expense of their closest friends. Neither could be further from the truth.
I've been in a lot of weddings and I have never once had anyone pay for my dress -- nor have I ever thought they should. Sure, I've had some brides buy my jewelry, my shoes, etc. as their gift to me. It was their way of saying thank you for participating in the wedding. But I never once expected them to foot the bill for my outfit because it is
customary for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dress and anything that goes with it. (By the way, it is also normal for them to pay for their hotel rooms and any other transportation costs that are required in order to be at the wedding if it is out of town.)
All of this is following typical wedding etiquette. If you want to pay for all of your wedding party's attire when your big day comes, go for it. If you've got that kind of money left over after paying for all of you and your significant other's friends and family to eat, drink and be merry, then more power to you. Most people don't have that kind of budget -- even the ones who, like me, are having a "wedding that they can afford" instead of a "dream wedding."
I am VERY thankful for the friends I have, and I am VERY grateful that the bridesmaids who I chose accepted my offer to be in the wedding. When I selected my bridesmaids, I didn't want to ask anyone to participate who I knew might not have the time or money to do so because I didn't want them to feel as if they were letting me down if they declined. If I'd had someone who I really wanted in the wedding party but who couldn't afford a dress, I would have probably offered to help cover some of the cost. But I certainly couldn't afford to do so for the entire wedding party. The cost adds up, no matter how careful you try to be with your budget.
To help my bridesmaids manage the cost of their ceremony attire, I made sure that I only looked at dresses that were in a reasonable price range. To make sure that the girls were comfortable with the price and type of dress, I invited all of the girls to go shopping with me. They made the final decision in what to wear, and they also picked out their own shoes. In the end, they were the ones who ultimately decided how much they would/could spend.
Our gift to the wedding party is that we're paying for one night of their hotel stay, their rehearsal dinner meals, their wedding day jewelry, and a nice thank you basket filled with things they love. This is in addition to the food, drink and entertainment that they will be enjoying at the reception with our other guests. All added up, I'm spending much more on my girls than they spent on their dress and shoes, and that is perfectly fine with me. It's my way of saying "thanks for making the extra effort to be with me on my special day."
