[33girl]

Jacquelyn,

I don't think that there is a "college norm." My chapter sisters, as far as drinking/smoking/sex/whatever, went from one end of the spectrum to the other. The difference was that we respected each other's choices and put up with their human flaws. If someone never even kissed a guy, that was fine. If someone drank a little too much one night, we didn't ostracize her for the rest of the semester. Nowadays, it seems like people are saying "respect others and be diverse" on one hand, but implementing a more rigid standard of actual behavior on the other. The two don't mesh. (This is everything, by the way, not just Greeks. Be diverse, but you must be diverse in the RIGHT way. I think that, unfortunately, we've gotten caught up in the rhetoric.)

Maybe Susie joined her sorority for the parties and ended up winning the national award for outstanding service. I hate when people seem to be saying that if you don't join for the highest-minded of purposes, you will be a crappy sister - to me, that's like saying you are a better sister if you joined through formal instead of COB. It's not how you get there, it's what you do once you are in. It would be terrible if people who could really benefit from the support of a GLO feel as though they aren't welcome to join because they aren't perfect or because they want to try things like drinking, which, although it's not THE norm, is normal.