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The President arrived last year in the evening after most of the memorials were read. I don't think that it is a slap in the face of the grieving families. When I attended a funeral of a family friend who was lost on September 11th, the Mayor did not attend as he had so many other FDNY funerals. The family requested that he not attend as it would draw attention away from their beloved son. Plus the logistics were almost impossible. As it was, the wake was standing room only with a two hour wait to pay respects to the family. The church was filled to capacity with family, friends, neighbors, and other fire fighters.
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