Quote:
Originally posted by GPhiBLtColonel
I would recommend one of two things:
1) If you want to check both groups out then use the discreet approach instead of the total honesty approach -- I am not saying to lie but I would not volunteer that you are looking at two groups...personally and I know this may get me flamed but it is how I feel, as a past alum chapter pres and one who has helped at least half dozen women become GFB AI's, I would be somewhat offended if I knew we were in "competition" with another GLO...
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Ok, I can respect that you disagree with one of the options I offered. Frankly, I'm of the opinion that a PNAM should be able to look at as many groups as wants/needs until she finds that place where she knows she is home - even if she has to do it simultaneously. Why? My AI journey has been unusual and I have sympathy on others who have unusual circumstances as well. It's not a matter of desperation, it's a matter of finding your sisters.
The reason I suggested the total honesty approach is because:
a) I'm a goodie-two-shoes and I don't believe in lying. If I were TCV, and one of the groups asked me about it, I wouldn't be able to stand there and flat out lie. Even if no one likes my suggestion, at least we know honesty is an option. Yes?
b) From what I understand, Texas is like living in a big fishbowl. If TCV were in another state like Illinois or something, it might not be as big of a risk. However, being Greek is big in Texas and IMHO, the chances of TCV getting "found out" with two groups is higher. In Vermont, "shopping around" may not be a big deal to the alumnae ladies there. Though, in Texas and the south, it may be a cardinal sin to do so. After all, even you stated that you would be "offended" if a PNAM was working with more than one.
Of course, CutiePie2000 has this as one of her FAQs in the Advice to PNAMs thread:
Quote:
Originally posted by CutiePie2000
What if I am interested in more than one NPC sorority, and I think that I need to meet them all in order to know for sure, or to see for myself which is the best fit for me?
<snip>
I think that it is important to tread carefully, to prevent any appearance that you are simply going from group to group until somebody “takes you”. If you are "found out" to be approaching more than one group for alumnae initiation, you may have to do some hasty “damage control” explaining yourself (never a good position to be in), because depending on the city, alumnae women in different sororities can & do speak to each other as to what sorts of issues are going on in their local alumnae chapters.
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To be honest, I am confused. On one hand, you and CutiePie2000 are advocating that TCV should go ahead and go to both sets of events and see whch one she fits in with as long as she's "discreet." On the other hand, you (GPhiBLtColonel) said you would be "offended" if a PNAM did this and CP2000 is saying that it could be disasterous. Have I totally misinterpreted something here?
I guess I'm just feeling a bit defensive because it always seems like my advice and opinions are never in line with anyone else's and they let me know it too.
At the end of the day, I just want my sister PNAMs to find their places in the Greek family. That's all, just looking for that happy ending for everyone.
PNAM,
.....Kelly
-- edited for grammar