Quote:
Originally posted by Dionysus
Why are there so many black male/white female and White male/Asian female couples?......opposed to the other way around.
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I don't pretend to know any answers. This is just random speculation.
-Black women are still generally less comfortable dating outside of their ethnicity. Most black women feel they want a mate who can "understand" what they go through at work, etc., and since a lot of their problems may revolve around white guys and white women, they may have a difficult time seeking support and comfort from a guy of the same ethnicity that makes their work life stressful.
-Many black women are very attracted to black men, yet are not very attracted (or have been conditioned to be not very attracted) to white men. Therefore, it's a real stretch to want to date someone to whom you are not attracted.
-Some black women do not socialize in environments where they interact with many eligible white guys.
-Some black women remember that their great-grandmothers were sometimes raped by white men, bore children by a white man only to have those children treated like trash by their own fathers. Looking past the historic slave/slavemaster relationship between black women and white men is difficult for some black women.
-Other black women may be interested in dating white men/outside their ethnicity but are hindered by the traditional rules of dating. Men are still the pursuers, generally. You might be feeling a guy, but if he's not interested... Some black women might be receptive, but not quite receptive enough to actively pursue a white guy: if he's not actively making a power move to get your attention, that's that. These same women might be more comfortable doing a bit more pursuing with a black man, however.
I’m not a white guy, so I can just guess why there aren't so many pairings from their perspective.
Standard of beauty, at least currently in this country, is still pretty much blond hair, long hair and blue eyed, slender framed, (I think more because it’s the rarest combination than anything insidious, but I digress) etc. Many black women don't fit that mold. Therefore, maybe black women are not considered as physically attractive to some white men.
-White guys are not often in an environment (even less so than a black woman) where they are going to meet a lot of eligible black women.
-Maybe some white guys are a bit uncomfortable or intimated to date a black woman. Guys don't like rejection anymore than women do, so why would you approach what appears to be a disinterested black woman when there are easier "conquests" all around you?
-What is there to be gained from a white guy dating a black woman from a white guy's perspective? I don't mean to be controversial here, but really? I have dated four white guys in my life (two of them seriously) but all four had a serious preference for black women or women of color. *I* have run into far fewer white guys who happen to see a group of attractive women, both black and white, and think "gosh, something about Aisha really appeals to me more than anyone else there." Does this happen? Of course, but I'm just thinking that that it happens less often than the reverse. One of my best friends (black) is an attorney, married to another attorney (who happens to be white). This guy's goal is to be partner at his firm. We joke around that one of his only strikes against him is that he has a black wife, but the fact that she worked at a better known firm than his negates the strike. While we are being facetious, there is a hint of truth to it: I still think that when a successful white guy dates a black woman, some folks are wondering "why is he dating/married to her?" in the corner of their mind, while the question is less thought about when a successful black guy walks in with a white woman.
These are just some of my thoughts to your question.