Ilovemyglo and my fellow sister valkyrie
I have dealt with this before...except I am black and the guy I was dating was white. (my first love and college sweetheart, we were together for 3 years)
It did not go over well with her and my sister.
And to be honest, my sister and mother are NOT the best judges when it comes to men. (My sister had men who treated her like crap and after my parents divorced my mom hooked up with an abusive jerk)
They called me out and I had to get
STRAIGHT UP MEDIEVAL on their butts!
They asked, "So what will happen if he calls you a "N" word?"
Note: The only man who has EVER called me that was black--my EX-Father (that is a WHOLE nother talk show).
I said, "Hmmm what did you do when a man called you a Biatch, C-word, cheats on ya or worse, hit you?"
NOTHING! You stood there and took the crap! At least I won't be stupid enough to do that!"
No man was evah stupid enough to call me a name like that or hit me
Shut them right on up!
So the moral is, honey go with your heart. If he is good to ya, treats ya well, then hang on to them and tell your mom to back the heck off and get over it!
BTW: My mom and sister like my husband (who is white)
PM me if you want to chat!
Quote:
Originally posted by valkyrie
I don't mean this to sound bitchy, but it probably will...
I don't think that your mom is going to change her mind. I don't think that anything you can say or do is going to change her mind. IMHO, she was completely out of line for even asking you if he was white and for saying "No" -- what are you, a five year old in the grocery store picking up a box of cookies that she doesn't want to you to have? I don't think it's an issue of you hurting your family -- it's an issue of your family being unreasonable, and if you living your life the way you want to live it is going to hurt them, then I'm sorry to say, but so be it. I am constantly amazed when parents (mine included, believe me) try to tell their ADULT children what to do. They need to realize that you are an adult and you make your own decisions. It is their job to support you and be there for you. I'm assuming that they think that they raised you to be a smart, thoughtful woman, and now it's time for them to sit back and let you BE that smart, thoughtful woman.
Maybe it's because I'm quite a bit older than you are, but I find myself completely unwilling to put up with shit from anyone, family included. If I were in your place, I would say something like this:
Mom, I am dating a wonderful man who treats me kindly and with respect. If you have a problem with that, call me when you get over it.
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