[AKA2D '91]

Single Female ISO Home
You're a single female, somewhere around 30 years old, making decent money and feeling like you should buy a home. I know you—I even know the reasoning you use to talk yourself out of home ownership: "I'm single." "Owning a home is costlier than renting." "It's too much commitment." Or this classic: "I'm living with my boyfriend/girlfriend right now."


Those excuses kept me from buying a home as Seattle's housing market shot skyward. Finally, I came to my senses and bought a miniscule starter home on an even more miniscule income. Financially, it was one of the best moves I've ever made. Emotionally, there's nothing that compares to the feeling of purchasing your first home all by yourself: Want to feel some real girl power? Just sign your name on those closing documents.


Now, let's take on some of those excuses:


"I'm single."
In 2001 the typical homebuyer's household consisted of a married couple in their mid-thirties with an average household income of $71,300, according to the National Association of Realtors. That statistic doesn't mean that you, a single female with an income closer to $35,000, aren't allowed to buy a house. Do you think real estate agents will slam doors in your face? Laugh at you? Hey, your money pays a commission just like the money of those nice married folks. Also, it's illegal for an agent to discriminate based on familial status, race, skin color, national origin, gender, disability or religion. So if someone refuses to help you out, sue for a huge settlement and use the proceeds to buy a really nice waterfront rambler that will be the envy of married couples everywhere.


"Owning a home is costlier than renting."
Owning a home does feel more expensive than renting at first, especially when you've scraped your savings account clean to supply earnest money and a down payment, only to learn that you must also pay for arcane items like title insurance and escrow fees. But the major difference between a mortgage payment and a rent payment is this: You may recover some of that mortgage payment when you sell your house. Your rent is simply a non-recoverable expense: Your landlord's mortgage payment. Of course, profit from owning a home depends on the market you're in and whether you bought your home for what it was worth, but in general, short-term pain means long-term gain in real estate. Also, a home is one of the few things you can buy that generally appreciates in value with age, and mortgage interest is tax deductible.


Hardcore renters invariably raise this point to defend their refusal to buy: "When my appliances blow up it's not my responsibility." True. And as a veteran of 11 rotten rentals and multiple appliance blow-ups, I entered my first house trembling, braced for the leaky water heater, shorting stove and overflowing washer that I would have to (horrors!) tend myself. But nothing much happened. Homeowners generally take better care of things than renters and landlords, and busted-down appliances just weren't the ordeal I thought they would be.


"It's too much commitment."
After you buy a house, you can sell it. End of commitment. And sold houses won't call you in the middle of the night asking why you broke it off, they won't start dating other houses you've lived in, and they won't stalk you. They just put money in your pocket if you've played your cards right. One single homeowner friend in her late thirties put it succinctly: "My house is the best relationship I've ever had."


Now, I'm not advising you to buy a house if you know you'll be moving elsewhere within a couple of years. Nor should you buy a house as an investment in a market that's plummeting. But if you yearn for a place where you can plant rose bushes and paint the walls any color you want, don't let an ambiguous fear of commitment stop you. Just keep repeating this mantra: "Nothing's permanent."


"I'm living with my boyfriend/girlfriend right now."
I let this one keep me in rentals for years. What I should have done was purchase a house as soon as I qualified, and charge the boyfriend rent to live with me. That would have separated the man from the boy. Don't let a live-in relationship keep you from owning a home. A good real estate lawyer can write up a contract for the two of you, should you decide to buy a home together, or you can buy a home on your own if your live-in is reluctant to commit to homeownership.


Of course, both choices will test the relationship. Buying a home on your own may even test a dating relationship. When I purchased my tiny starter home, the man I was dating at the time was quite peeved regarding the whole matter. But he swallowed his pride, rolled up his sleeves, and helped me refinish the wood floors of his 700-square-foot rival. We eventually married, and the sale of that little house provided a hefty down payment for the home we now own together.


Enough of excuses. So what now? Do you live in a place where housing prices are steadily rising? Do you compulsively pull flyers from "For Sale" signs? Do you long to own the roof over your head? Then buy a house. Don't accept the notion that there is some mythical state of personal readiness (i.e., a husband) that must be achieved prior to homeownership. You need only two things to buy a home—a desire to do it and enough money in your bank account.


Finally, if you decide to take the plunge, savor the fact that you have no one to compromise with. This may be the only time in your life when you, and you alone, get to choose the house you want. Then you can paint those walls purple. You can turn the front lawn into a vegetable garden. You can convert the garage into a studio. This may be your only shot at buying and owning a house without having to use the phrase, "What do you think, Hon?"


Good luck, and happy (solo) hunting.