To the folks who call me at work using their "I'm sneaking on the phone" voice: 
SPEAK UP, DAMMIT!!!! You are calling to discuss your HR needs, you would want to make sure I hear you correctly.
To the folks who call and have not quite managed to use their INSIDE VOICES: I don't want to go DEAF talking to you. Lower your voice. Calling long distance does not mean you have to yell to be heard. Ma Bell works really well now.
To T: 
I miss you not being at work today.
To my mama: I e-mailed you. Can I get a response?!?!!?
