Quote:
Originally posted by Professor:
This message was pre-recorded on the movie set of Professor: The Making of A Great Alphaman!
My Brothers and Sisters,
I am sorry I am not there to receive this great honor in person. While I deserve no accolades for life's humanity, I extend my most sincere appreciation to the academy and those who saw fit to bestow this most prestigious award. I take this opportunity to thank my parents who told me "I did not send your ass to college to chase after those fast ass girls. You better put your head in the books!" Thank you to people like Discogoddess who said just because the Smurf dance is out of style continue to do your thing - it will again come back in style just like the bus stop - to my frat Brother David who helped me yell in protest "The Roof, the Roof, the Roof is on Fire, We Don't Need No Water Let the MF Burn" when we were told the party is over and to take our asses home - to my uncles and aunts in DC and New York who shipped me the bad ass rags every homecoming and special events. You helped me learn that "Looking Good Isn't Easy - It's Just Rewarding" and last but not least, thank you to those bad ass kids in DC who helped me see that teaching was not for me. You made me attend grad school and leave the teaching area forever to become a counselor, activist, spiritual guider to President Clinton and the Right Reverend Jesse Jackson.
In closing, my Brothers and Sisters, America is a great country! Only in this great land can a young horny and cocky boy grow up to be recognized by thousands as MOST SOCIALLY CONSCIOUS! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
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I thought I was throwed off (which means crazy for those of you who don't live in Louisiana or Texas).
But nope, the DOC has me beat.