Hey DoggyStyle!
No need for fogiveness. You didn't do anything wrong!
We all make judgements based on our own experiences. I concluded from your statements that you were comparing the rush to NPHC style intake. That's why I explained all that stuff.
We ALL learn SO much about each others GLOs on these boards! It would be a lot less interesting around here if we all always agreed on things.
BTW, the member did try to handle the situation in house by taking it to the Executive Council and advisors. This would have involved a formal meeting of some chapter advisors and all of the officers. What was said in that meeting and the Council's final decision is what triggered her departure from school. She could have (even may have) contacted other advisors, regional &/or National officers.
Personally, I MIGHT have exhausted ALL of my options with National's before dragging the school into it. Since I've never faced a similar situation, I can't say for sure.
I don't think the member spontaneously decided to write that letter. Hopefully, she thought long and hard about its consequences.