Quote:
Originally posted by 33girl
Yes you should try to be Panhellenic and rise above things, but when you HAVE tried that, and the same behavior goes on and gets worse with no repercussions for the offenders, sometimes you've got to speak up.
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Of course you do, but there are good ways to go about doing that and, shall we say, less good ways. Here are a few reactions I had to the letter:
-- Go back and look at the draft letter. Nowhere in it does the letter writer say that she actually heard any of the rumors being spread. She says that she heard
about the rumor-spreading from two PNMs, who related
what they were told but couldn't say
who told them. Maybe its just the lawyer in me, but I would be more likely to pay attention if the letter writer had first-hand knowledge of rumor-spreading.
-- My experience is that, try as hard as one might, letters like this rarely come off the way one hopes. While the writer may be hoping to sound friendly, "we're-in-this-together," "we-can-work-this-out," the letter often is not received that way. It's much better to talk to the advisor in person, say over a cup of coffee. If one doesn't know the advisor well enough to do that, enlist the assistance of someone who does -- perhaps one's own advisor.
-- The letter is from an alum who has no formal relationship with the chapter (i.e., is neither active nor an advisor). If I received a letter like this under those circumstances, I would wonder why, if it is such a problem, I was only hearing from an alumna who has no formal ties to the day-to-day operation of the chapter.
-- The letter contains what I read to be a threat to contact "XXX's" national HQ if the rumors continue. I think that this is unnecessarily combative and is likely to invoke defensiveness rather than cooperation.
Yes, rumors can cause significantly hurt feelings and damage. But there is another question that needs to be asked: Is anyone believing the rumors that XXX is spreading? If so, then you have to combat the rumors. If not, then rest assured that the sisters of XXX are really only hurting themselves.
One last thing: If the writer is determined to send this letter (or one like it), I would make sure that the chapter advisor and executive board know about it and have approved it first. They're the ones who will have to live with any fall-out that may result.
Another $0.02 from me.