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I thought this was a good article on the Kobe sit-u-a-shun:
By Paula McGee
ADULTERY.
Even before anyone said it, that word was in my head. I remember waiting anxiously in front of the television last month for that very first Kobe press conference, trying to figure out if Colorado was "Central Time" or "Pacific Time." The word hadn't been uttered yet, and I felt a pang of guilt for pre-judging him, but for some reason I couldn't escape the voice that was telling me Kobe Bryant committed ADULTERY. Our hero, our superstar, our shining black prince committed adultery. He slept with, had sexual relations with, penetrated, or shared his body fluids with some woman other than his wife. Still, I had to watch the press conference, had to make sure that I saw for myself.
As I waited, I was wrestling with a range of emotions. I knew that I was way too invested in this story. First off, I was angry at this 19-year-old, white woman who I imagined showing up at the hotel room of a rich, handsome, powerful, charismatic black man and offering herself. I was also angry, in a womanly, feminist way, at yet another man that couldn't hear "NO!" If the allegations were true, then Kobe was just another powerful male celebrity who saw women as trinkets — one more deal, something else to be owned.
I also couldn't help thinking about this story as a professional athlete, a business woman and an agent. It's hard for me to forget that Kobe Bryant, Inc. is worth $40 million dollars just on the strength of his recent Nike shoe deal, but I had to ask myself: how could he forget? Doesn't Kobe know that just being a rich, powerful Black man alone in a hotel room with a White woman (a waitress at that!) is a bad business decision — forget about actually touching. I wondered about this the same way I wondered about Bill Clinton thought process. What intimate interaction is worth risking your place in history or $40 million dollars? Come on Kobe, I said to myself. By now you have to know how this game is played. You have lived in this world of sex, money and fame that is professional athletics both in the United and abroad for years, and before that you watched your father and countless other black men. You know the game. Or do you?
And then the press conference started. My marketer's eye took in Kobe first. He is wearing casual clothes. Not the usual power suit, like the one he wore on the cover of GQ. Good move. He needs to look like a regular guy and not a rich superstar. His beautiful wife Vanessa is with him. Her story is written on her face: just a few years out of high school, she ended her modeling career to become "Mrs. Kobe Bryant." I feel sorry for her: if Hilary Clinton wasn't ready for this type of nightmare, she is definitely not prepared. Still, she is with him on screen, holding his hand and lovingly gazing at him as he fights back tears and declares his undying love for her. That's when he says it to the whole world: I'm not a rapist, I'm an adulterer.
Adultery is usually defined as "sexual unfaithfulness of a married person." It's one of the Ten Commandments, one of the "Thou Shalt Nots," and it is a sin not just against a spouse but against God. I understand the sin as a minister, but I am also like most people in that I also feel like Kobe (or somebody) has committed against me. I don't know any of the three people involved, but I feel like somebody lied to me, lied to Paula. I feel betrayed. Regardless of what I know about professional athletics and marketing, I still want to believe in heroes just like everyone else does. We all want to believe in Kobe, want him to be our Prince Charming. And he really is charming, a beautiful black man with wonderful presence. He makes you proud when he walks in the room. This is the clean-cut young man who is fluent in Italian, who entered the NBA right out of high school, who told us to "Obey our Thirst" and who was so sweet with the little kid in the McDonald's commercial. The Kobe who won all those championships. Did Kobe, Nike, the media, and the marketing companies betray our trust? Did they lie to us? Were they unfaithful?
We may never know what happened in that hotel room. Only two people and God will ever really know. I don't know if what happened in that room was rape or adultery, but as a minister, I am called to believe in the possibility of forgiveness and redemption. If Vanessa can forgive Kobe for adultery, then so can I. I can also forgive him for not being faithful to my unreal, media-driven expectations.
I also believe in justice, and so I think of this woman whose life will never be the same. I pray for her, because if she was raped, no amount of money or prison time for her rapist will replace what she has lost. And if she is looking for fame and fortune then we should really pray for her. Because she clearly has no idea what she has gotten herself into.
When I recall my eagerness to catch that press conference, I think the best thing that each of us can do is to turn off the television and not read the newspaper. Maybe we should just pray. Pray that God will forgive us for forgetting the humanity of both Kobe and this woman. Pray that God will forgive us for having unreal expectations of a 24-year-old man trying to negotiate life with the whole world watching. And most of all, pray that God please forgive us our insatiable appetite for drama and sensationalism. We are the ones who aren't giving this tragedy's participants the time and space to grieve, to suffer, to be angry, to seek justice, and to heal, and at the end of the day, that is a sin just like any other.
First published: August 18, 2003
About the Author
Paula McGee is preacher, lecturer and motivational speaker. A native of Flint, Michigan, she and her twin sister Pam won two back-to-back women’s basketball National Championships in 1983 and 1984 for USC with Cheryl Miller. Upon graduation, Paula embarked upon a professional career, but after playing five seasons in Italy and Spain she ended her basketball career to pursue her life's calling to preach. She earned a Master of Divinity from the Interdenominational Theological Center in Atlanta, Georgia, and a Master of Arts in Religion from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee.
It is from africana.com
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