PurdueUGuy - please excuse me if I am out of line here... but I think these are questions that you and your GF need to be asking one another:
- in other similar situations like this that I personally have encountered, the GF's negative perspective was based on her impression that the fraternity would encourage the man to be single, and to date a lot of different girls, and to ...ahem... get lucky as often as possible at all the drunken parties that lie in store.
You are either that guy, or you aren't. If you are that guy, then you will be tempted to cheat on her whether you join the org. or not. If you are not that guy, then you should go out of your way to let her know that you are going to respect your relationship. The fraternity itself will not do anything to make you jeopardize your relationship. If, after you join, you find out that they DO, then you need to haul @ss... this is a group of men whose ideals and goals are not of the highest order.
- another possibility: if your GF is not part of a GLO, then she might resent a few things-
1) the time that is required of you from the org., which is time you won't be able to spend with her (SOLUTION: you will have to MAKE time for her and the org. ...which means creating a realistic time schedule, considering your academic pursuits also, and then sticking to it).
2) all the new people that will be a part of your life and not hers... and if she resents these, then this is a personal issue, and you should encourage her to get involved on campus in her own clubs and activities.
The poet Kahlil Gibran said "let there be spaces in our togetherness..."
sometimes you will find the most strength in your relationship when you are confident in your own solitary pursuits.
These are just random thoughts! hope they help you in some way...
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