One thing I have learned about hair care (and I've been going to the hair salon since I was old enough to sit in the chair by myself), everybody's hair is different. I personally use Motions and Dudleys relaxers (I have to switch up every couple of months - my hair grows very fast), I alternate between Optimum and Isoplus Shampoo and Conditioner. I shampoo and condition my hair every 2-3 days (It works for me) I simply can not go too long without shampooing my hair. I use motions foaming wrap lotion after I shampoo my hair and let it air dry. I spray it lightly with Isoplus lite spritz and bump it with marcel irons (golden hots if I am traveling). I never ever use any pomades or hair grease. I use Infusium leave in conditioner every night. My shampoo and conditionig routine keeps my scalp healthy. I have thick hair and my avoiding grease keeps my hair bouncy and full of body. For shine, Dudleys oil sheen is wonderful. Instead of using drying gels, try Black and Sassy Creamy Set. If you must use grease on your scalp the only thing I promote is B&B Supergro. Now as for my sister who has that natural wave pattern and has never had a relaxer in her life. All she has to do is shampoo her hair, put wrap lotion on it and blow dry it using a round brush if she wants it bumped or a comb if she wants it relaxer straight. No matter what you use on your hair -- if you use heat to curl your hair -- invest in good irons. I prefer marcels with the Kentucky Maid stove, but golden hots are good too. The highest heat setting shouldn't be anymore than 5 or 6.
Whew -- I told ya'll, I grew up at the hair salon every weekend. Don't get me started on make-up!!!