[Senusret I]

the hardest part was saying goodbye

even though i can’t see what i write
because water continues to flow from tiny ducts
and my breathing is difficult because of
the lump in my throat,
the hardest part was still
saying goodbye

it wasn’t
using restraint when we shared
the same bed and it wasn’t the moment of
weakness when i wanted you, but you said no
that was the easy part
saying “i’m sorry” was easy
loving you is easy
the hardest part was saying goodbye

i
fixed you some waffles
and fixed you some
sausage
and poured you some juice to drink.
like a husband would.
but i held back so you would think i was
strong.

it didn’t last.

i will miss you too much.
i can’t say goodbye.

so i’ll just whisper
i love you