To my Sistadiva: You are a gem! No prob! Anytime you need a sista, just hit me up.
To "P-Diddy": I'm glad you are back in my life, but I am sad that you are leaving. You are my bestest friend and I wub you berrrry much!
To my employer: Thanks for the bonus...it really came in handy! I'm going to put that on my car!
Now my family reunion open letters...
To my family: I really enjoyed everyone this weekend. I am so glad that nobody acted a FOOL, especially you Fernando. I really enjoyed the banquet and the fashion show, but I have a question. WHY did I only get one plate and one dessert for $40. HELL, could a sista get some sweet tea? Why was the tea so bland? WHY did they start taking the food away so soon? For $40 they shoulda had some doggie bags on the table in the back or SUMPIN'
Forty daggone dollars! Hell, my aunt and I coulda took our $80 and went to Sam's and had a little shin-dig at the crib! Anyway, I enjoyed your company.
To my cousin T: Please get Isaiah out of grabbing women's breasts, it may be semi-cute now...but I am starting to think he knows exactly what he is doing! He's cute tho!
To Amin: You have really grown into a nice looking young man, I remember when you looked like one of the gremlins! LMAO, you have really matured...you're actually cute now!
TO Carlos: IF you ever, EVER, bring your "baby's momma" (as she so eloquently introduced herself as) to the family banquet with a DENIM CATSUIT with timberland boots on...I think Auntie E, Auntie L, and my Nana will personally exorcise her! I have a coupla questions too...Why were all her breasteseess out? Whose gold belt, I mean, herringbone did she have on? Are her teeth ALL gold, or was that plaque? Why did she have on a hat inside of the banquet hall?
I just wanna know!
To Sy: You really have the biggest butt in the world!
To R: If you come to the next family reunion with another child or a different husband/boyfriend, I am going to scream. It's hard enough trying to remember all of the kids names, let alone the flavor of the week.
