I think that we are doing our children a disservice by not teaching them all aspects of sex. I firmly agree with abstinance, and the world would probably be a lot better place if people waited 'til they were out of high school to have sex, but the truth of the matter is that kids are going to have sex, no matter what we tell them to do.
Abstinance programs work on a basis of fear and shame. I grew up in a very Christian household, and the one thing I knew about sex was that I couldn't talk to my parents about it. Fortunately, I had a friend who lent me a copy of the
Guide To Getting It On. When I did decide that I was ready, I knew enough to go to Planned Parenthood and get the Pill and a bunch of condoms. Four years later my mother still thinks I'm a virgin.
One thing that comprehensive sex-ed programs teach is that talking about this stuff is necessary and okay. We actually discussed how to ask a guy to put on a condom, how to talk with a potential partner about getting tested, etc. They did scare the pants off of us with films of live births, stories of teenagee mothers, and photos of disease-ridden genitalia, and they told us that the only foolproof way to prevent the physical and emotional side-effects of sex was not to have it. However, they were realistic in their expectations.
Lesson number one: Ignoring it won't make it go away.