I am SO glad that someone brought up this topic. I have been waiting so long for a discussion like this.
Currently I am in a situation. My lady and I have been very seriously considering marriage. Now initially she wanted to hyphenate her last name with my last name. I said NO! I will not allow her to "straddle the fence" between my name and hers. In a way, it assumes the worst (read: it sounds like she is "leasing" my name until we get divorced). I said if she was compelled to hyphenate my name, then I would appreciate it if she rather not use my name at all and keep her maiden name as is. I said if her name meant so much to her, I would change my last name to hers (and I am dead serious too--my current last name is so common and plain, I really wouldn't miss it) OTOH, her name is not as plain as mine, but still rather common (hint: it is the last name of one of the actresses on Living Single). BTW, thanks Jali for that trend update; I thought it was just me. But either she adopts my name or I adopt hers or neither of us adopts.--no hyphenation in this family. I would however allow her to "hyphenate" for identification purposes (class and family reunions, etc.)
In my previous marriage, my ex hyphenated her last name with mine, and even though we have been apart over 3 years, the hyphenated name is still in effect (I thought she would have dropped my name after the divorce was final). Since then, I have been a little sensitive about folks "leasing" my name.
Just my $.25
Rain Man
|