Quote:
Originally posted by AXWhoah
Okay so I was wondering why and how exactly do you pin your girlfriend? (Assuming that you are in a fraternity) Is there a time specific time length you guys need to have been dating before you can even consider it? And do you give her your actual pin or a pledge pin or something entirely different all together? I'd like to hear answers from members from many different fraternities if possible. I know I probably should have done a search but a mix of laziness and boredom led me to just write a new thread so if you have any answers to my questions let me know!
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I'm not a boy, but I've been pinned... :P
Different schools and different chapters do things differently. At Valparaiso, the first step was lavaliering. After a couple has been going out for a few months, and they want to be exclusive, the guy would lavalier the girl. Usually, she'd have to have some respect for her guy's fraternity, since she'd be wearing their letters! At Valpo, that's when she got letters. The girl would usually be serenaded outside of her dorm on a Thursday night (for Sinfonians, since that's when they had chorus practive), or at some other time convenient to the fraternity. It was also customary for the frat to have a lavaliering party (if she was greek, then it would be a joint party; if not, it would be closed except to brothers and the couple's friends-- but the party policy has changed a LOT in the past few years). I was lavaliered on our ten-month anniversary. He brought it up in a letter that summer, and then did it that October.
If they're really serious, having gone out for probably over a year (or close to graduation), then he'd consider pinning her. This was a lot more rare. And yes, at Valpo, she got *the* pin. (Pledges usually don't keep their pledge pins; obviously, you'd need to be a full brother and not just a pledge to even lavalier her.) I was pinned ... gee. I think it was our two-year anniversary, but might have been our three-year. I can't remember. But around midnight, in the dorm lounge, I got the pin. And yes, I wore it to Phi Mu Alpha Sinfonia musicale and other musical performances that I dressed up to attend. (I'd actually pinned him with a pin from my then-local sorority, but then, I also proposed.) As with lavaliering, there's often a serenade and a party.
Engagement is step three, depending on the guy and the school. If they've only been lavaliered for a little while, he may just skip to engagement. Then again, I know of one guy (can't remember if he was a sinfonian or not) who, at a party, lavaliered his girlfriend (pause for first serenade song), then pinned her (song #2), and then pulled out The Ring. -grin-
If your chapter still hazes brothers who get pinned or lavaliered, just be careful. Buying a keg (or putting up the money for the same) is one thing; being tied to a tree upside down and covered with crap or being thrown in the river is quite another.
Like I said, at Valpo you got letters at lavaliering, so it was more of a going-steady-with-a-chick-that-supports-my-brotherhood thing than a pre-engagement. Pinning was definitely seen as a serious pre-marriage kind of step-- the ring might not show up for a year or two, but the long-term desire is there.