[momoftwo]

The posts above make good points. There is no single magic bullet that ensures that high schoolers consistently make good choices. I'm fairly confident that I've been lucky with my kids, and I know what's worked for them.

There are dozens of activities at the Glenbrooks (and lots of other suburban high schools). Not so every student needs to be involved in every activity, but to ensure that every student can find some niche to belong to. It makes the big school smaller and the intent is to create an environment where there are no outcasts.

We've always tried to get our kids to be involved in no more than 3 activities at any time. Generally they are doing a music thing, sometimes they're involved in a sport, and they attend the youth group at church. I think occassional "crunch" times are good preparation for the real world--it teaches kids that they can operate at a high level for a period of time--but I don't advocate crunch time all the time.

I think it's important to pick one activity to really get involved in. For my kids, that's been music. They spend a lot of time with a good group of kids and develop a talent that they can use outside of school--my daughter plays in the church orchestra and hopes to join an ensemble when she's at college. For my kids, being "Bandies" meant that they had a place to belong even before the first day of school Freshman year.

Are there kids in the band who make bad choices? Of course there are. Does making bad choices ruin them for life? Probably not, but it depends on the types of bad choices they make.

From my perspective, keeping them busy also means guiding my kids to prioritize their activities and manage their time effectively. Their involvement in something that includes performances (or games) gives me a chance to share the experience with them (from a distance), and with the parents of their peers. I have some idea of what's going on in their lives without asking a million questions.

There always has to be balance! Too much of anything is not good.