You know you're in a black church when the pastor says, "I know I can get a witness up in here."

You know you're in a black church when the congregation shouts "Preach Preacher!"

You know you're in a black church when at the end of the sermon the preacher says, "the doors of the church are now open."

You know you're in a black church when the preacher has a handkerchief in his hand and a glass of water in a wine glass on the podium.

You know you're in a black church when the secretary hands a note to the preacher and he says, "if you're driving a Lexus license plate LPO984, you left your lights on, and people driving a hoop-ride or those who walked to church leave out the like they are fooling someone.

You know you're in a black church when the choir dances in the choir stand, and even the old folks are raising the roof.

You know you're in a black church when the minister takes over a song after the sololist sits down.

You know you're in a black church when the choir starts to sing and the congregation shouts, "that's my jam right there."

You know you're in a black church when all of a sudden someone sings....I love the Lord, He heard my cry....ahhhhhh.

You know you're in a black church when the entire congregation leaves before benediction because they want to beat the traffic.

You know you're in a black church when you have 50 associate pastors and only 3 went to Divinity school.