Quote:
Originally posted by Kristin AGD
The first guy helped out with the kids, changed diapers, spoiled his wife. (she bought a new car every year almost).
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In this particular case -- and to some extent probably many others -- this family's lifestyle might be a culprit. Even though they were "both successful," spending this kind of money can be a huge strain on a family. Add children (and the associated costs) and the strain increases. Having a set of twins probably realy more that double the stress.
Of course, the problems aren't entirely financial, but money does affect just about every part of your life in one way or another. And our society does tend to be very material.
Children tie you down. The are a
constant demand on your time, attention and wallet. To some people, they aren't worth it, I guess.
Another thing that must be considered is why these two people decided to leave. It might be entirely their problem, and it might not. Without being a part of the particular family, it's impossible to know how much stress the partner adds to the ralationship.
Have you noticed that I haven't mentioned gender? That's because women leave relationships and families as well. I have several male friends who are raising their children after their wives left. I will grant that probably more men than women choose this route, but it isn't exclusive.
Finally, as in any social interaction, couples put on their best face in public and with their friends. There is no real way of knowing what the relationship is really like when alone in the family.
We have no way to judge these families. We don't live with them. My perspective comes after having been married for thirty-three years and raising three children while being the sole source of income for a large part of that time.
It can be grueling. While breaking up the family should be the absolute last resort, I can certainly understand why some men and some women choose "the easy way out."
It's always sad.
Edited to add:
These days, if your marriage survives, you are probably in a minority. Sad, but the last I heard only around half of all marriages last. We married fairly young, (21 and 20) so I reject the idea that age has to be a factor. When we got married, though, two other "perfect" couples and we were married within a month -- all shortly after the wife's college graduation. Of the three couples, only we remain married. One of the other couples had children, the other didn't.