[WhirlwindTNX]

Originally posted by Sistermadly
I had to jump in on this comment (but not on you Whirlwind, cause I think you made some excellent points...)

But *sigh* I'm going to say this and put on my asbestos suit. It has to be said.

The NPC is NOT the only thing that needs to change in this scenario.

What also needs to change is the mindset of young black women. Young black women need to understand that in this day and age that no LEGALLY mandated system of segregation exists. This is 2003, not 1953.

Young black women need to understand that they can find a place for themselves within the legacies of Alpha Phi, AOII, Chi Omega and the rest of the NPC, every bit as much as they can among Zeta Phi Beta, Delta Sigma Theta, Sigma Gamma Rho, or Alpha Kappa Alpha.

They need to see that there are some of us who have found places for ourselves here, and are thriving within this conference.

It's not about being "black" enough. It's not about being "white" enough. It's about being YOU enough, and secure in YOURSELF, your IDENTITY, and your integrity. It's about realizing that as a person who grew up in (North) America, you have more in common with those who look different than you than surface realities might lead you to believe.

People keep saying that the NPC needs to reach out more. And you know - we do. But at some point, that "reaching out" starts to sound like "pander to" or "bend over backwards and make them feel special" - and that makes me uncomfortable. I don't need to have Alpha Phi donate a check to the United Negro College Fund to make me feel more welcome. I don't want my sisters to feel like they have to be on eggshells whenever I'm around just because "I'm different". I've felt like a token more than once or twice in my life, and let me tell you - it's a sh*tty way to feel. Any forced attempts at integration will backfire - because the non-black members of that chapter will come to resent the black member, and the black member will come to resent her sisters for keeping her outside of and apart from the rest of the chapter.

This kind of bonding has to happen organically. And that starts when some "sister" at some university decides to sign up for NPC recruitment. Shake the haters and the detractors -- on both sides. Eff all those people who tell you that you're "selling out" by signing up. Even if at some point you decide that the NPC isn't for you - GO THROUGH IT ANYWAY. Don't stand on the outside, rolling your eyes and saying "they don't want me" - give them the chance to want you. And if the b*tches in that particular chapter decide to act a fool, then don't let that one incident of discrimination define the rest of your life. You are more than that - you are worth more than that - and trust - you will rise above it.

Okay, I'm tired now.

I wish I would have responded to this sooner. . .I completely agree. . .if I wasn't so tired of posting I would have said almost the same things myself.