From what I understand, the 2nd year is the toughest year of law school. I can be wrong, LawyerGal if you are around help me out here...
Anyhoo, the way to balance relationships and your professional/academic aspirations is by being honest with yourself and your spouse/significant other. You must also COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE, COMMUNICATE.
Exquisite, does your signficant other fully know what your plans are short and long term? Do you know his? Where do you fit into his plans and how do you fit him into yours? Since you plan on marrying you need to start thinking about that. If you plan on going to marriage counseling(christian counseling) *(which I STRONGLY SUGGEST) you may want to have this conversation or fInd out how best to approach the subject.
My husband and I have had several conversations about what my goals are. He knows that once I am done with my Masters, I would like to look into pursuing another degree..down the line. WHen we initially had that conversation, he was apprehensive because he thought I was automatically thinking about an out of state school and that I wanted him to move, leaving his job. That wasn't the case. He would have not known that if we didn't talk about it.
Some days it can be hard. But you must reassure your mate that you are making the sacrifice for the both of you. Men need tangibles, if I do....., then...will happen. If I bust my hump now, I become more marketable and we can afford a better home.
Many men are very traditional, no matter how much they claim they are progressive. So it is very important that you have this conversation and continue to do so from time to time. It will keep you both on the same page. There will be no room for surprises.
If need be, you must schedule time for your mate. I do that all the time. There is nothing wrong with that except for when you don't stick to it. That means you put all of your books away, and devote your attention to his needs. Turn off the phone, the computer, and close off any other device related to your school work.
You must be patient and stay prayerful. Some days it will be hard. I can't begin to imagine what it will be like as a military wife, but I can assume that will be another dynamic altogether.
CantbeCopied on the Sisternet forum might be a great person to talk to about the military aspect. She is a proud military wife and can give you feed back from that perspective.
I hope what I have said helps. Feel free to e-mail if you need.
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Originally posted by Exquisite5
Sorors, thank you for your wonderful answers to my question. I truly appreciate it.
Ideally, I plan to get married the summer after my second year in law school so I will only be married and a student for a year. Also, my family will be paying for the wedding, I am so Southern, lol, so I hadn't even thought of that issue, but I do see how that can preclude marriage.
Actually, for me, since my "future hubby" is a Naval Officer it is kind of a financial lift for us to go ahead and get married as he'll get paid more, his allowance for housing will increase and I'll get AMAZING insurance coverage. My medical insurance right now is a grip, like 300 a month. So for both us, since we're not paying for the wedding, it kind of makes since.
But I say all this now as I sit 40 days from entering law school. If I come back to this post 40 days after starting HU's law center I'll probably be saying something totally diff!!
But thank you guys so much, it helps to hear from those who've been there before.
Let me ask this now, those of you in grad school with meaningful relationships/married, how do you nurture your relationship and your education? Do you have any tips for striking the balance?
Thank you so much!
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