[CrimsonTide4]

CAN ANYBODY IN EDUCATION RELATE TO THIS?

Now here is something that I found to be true:


PRESS RELEASE

Reacting to Federal guidelines, the state of Texas which has been highlighted as a role model for student testing by the Bush Administration's Dept. Of Education has redesigned and just released a new comprehensive test to be given to all students in the spring of the 2003-2004 school year.

In response to President Bush's Federal No Child Left Behind Act, students will have to pass it to be promoted to the next grade level in the hopes that it will be uniformly adopted by all the states, thus illuminating Texas to a glorious front runner position in education, it will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test (FART).

All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in grades 3, 4, and 5 until such time as they are capable of achieving a FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by the fifth grade, that student shall be placed in a separate English program called the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language (SMELL).

If with this increased SMELL program the student cannot pass the required FART, he or she can graduate to middle school by taking a one semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation (CRAP).

If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELLL, or CRAP; he will earn his promotion in an intensive one week seminar known as the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students (PRUNES).

It is the opinion of the Texas Department of Public Instruction (DPI) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP.

This revised provision of the student testing component of House Bill 110 should help clear the air.

THIS IS PART OF THE NO SCHOOL LEFT STANDING ACT