Quote:
Originally posted by StrangeFruit
Why do you think women and men stay in unhealthy relationships? Not physically abusive, but relationships that remain stagnant.
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I think that people are sometimes reluctant to let go of the illusion of what their relationship is in favor of accepting the reality of what it is. It is comfortable to hold on to what you want it to be, rather than acknowledge what it is. Whether physically or psychologically abusive, at one time, the relationship was probably a good one. Instead of acknowledging the fact that it is not what it was, or that the person is no longer acting in the way they used to, what you were attracted to, you justify the abusive behavior with things like 'they are just stressed', 'they only hit me once', 'everybody looses it'. In the world of psychology it is called cognitive dissonance -- when there are two opposing realities, you will either adjust to the new reality, reject the new reality in favor of your own based on previous or new knowledge, or dissociate from the reality. Everyone wants to be loved, wanted, appreciated, valued. . . so sometimes it is hard to face the reality of situations when you could loose the source of what you think loves you, wants you, appreciates you, and values you. Women that stay in unhealthy relationships usually don't love, want, appreciate, or value themselves, thus they don't demand it of other people. Women that love, want, appreciate, and value themselves don't allow people to abuse them or take them for granted. . . . period.