3. Don't make him hold your purse in the mall.
I've made my guy do this..it's truely a mark of love...really..
5. Shopping is not fascinating.
It seems to be when you drag US to a stupid autoparts store!!
6. When he asks for a threesome with you and your best friend, he is only joking.
Bull! You've tried to hook me up w/my best friend since we started dating!
9. If you REALLY want a nice guy, stop dating good-looking assholes.
I did...but I got a good looking nice guy that happens to be a loner..
11. Trying to provoke a large, dangerous-looking felon from across the rooms not funny.
Yes it is...and yes..you do have to defend my honor..
13. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (ie Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
So I've learned..
15. He heard you the first time.
No you didn't.
19. The guy doesn't ALWAYS have to sleep on the wet spot.
Your bed..your spot.
21. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny.
But you make such a cute face!!
23. "Fine." is not an acceptible way to end an argument.
Be that way then.
28. There is nothing inherently wrong with the word "cunt".
Yes it is if you've had the fraternity vs. frat phrase drilled in your head.
29. He is the funniest, strongest, best-looking, most successful man you have ever met.
Not when I catch you playing with your Transformers..
31. Your (select appropriate item
butt/boobs/hair/makeup/legs look fine.
As a matter of fact, it/they look damn good. Stop asking.
...and that's why I love you!
33. It is not necessary to discuss the heaviness of your menstrual flow with him.
Yes it is, he needs to know EVERYTHING.
35. Two words: blow job. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
...and I've got some words of my own.
40. Don't hog the covers.
You have more hair than me, therefore, I get the covers.
42. He does not just want to be friends.
So I learned in about 2 days..
43. A successful date always starts with the woman uttering the sentence:
"You know, why don't we just skip the expensive dinner and stay here
having freaky circus sex all night?"
You've already had that once, you don't need it again.