[Dionysus]

I totally agree.

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
I really feel for a lot of you guys, and my only advice would be that you won't find a guy that you really want in your life until you feel like you don't NEED one.

NEEDY is something that men can read a mile off- in a best case scenario you will simply turn off men who dont want to be needed like that, in a worst case scenario you will find a man who knows how to manipulate that kind of low self-esteem.

I am single and single by choice. I decided a long time ago that I would approach relationships from a position of power- not NEEDING to be in one but valuing myself and what I bring to the table. I have had relationships in that time and they are generally succesful in that both people in them feel like they are getting something out of the relationship, even when it ends. And they end amiably.

Am I lonely? Nope. I have my family and friends, I have my hobbies, I have my never-ending search for the perfect job, lol. There is too much filling my life for me to feel that kind of loneliness (which believe me, I HAVE felt, but that was not about the guys, it was about me and how I felt about myself at that time. Once I got over the feeling that I needed SOMETHING in my life to make it more worthwhile, I realised that the relationships I had were really unhealthy and I had gotten NOTHING out of them). If I find someone who complements me in important ways then that is great. If I dont, it certainly won't kill me.

SO put yourself out there to meet more people in general, but dont go out with the attitude that you MUST have a man in your life because God knows just what you'll end up bringing home!