I don't know if the answer is telling kids NOT to have sex. Do any of you seriously think that if someone had come to you (even if they did), telling you not to have sex if you wanted to, would you have abstained? I've had the experience that if someone tells you NOT to do something, chances are you're going to do it.
The issue here is personal responsibility. I don't know how effective it is to tell kids who are already sexually active to stop having sex, but to advise them of the dangers and to educate them FULLY on safer sex and personal responsibility. They need to know that no guy is too big for a condom, that all sorts of myths about doing it standing up or that having sex for the first time won't get you pregnant just aren't true. They need to know that nothing except abstinence and sterilization is 100% effective.
Maybe "glamourized" is too strong of a word. I think society has made the plight of the young unwed mother look much less difficult than it is, and girls see it just as "oh, I'll have a baby to take care of and love", and not the 18+ year committment it really is. Yes, labor may be "not so bad", but it's the time afterwards which is really hard. Of course, I'm not an unwed mother in high school, so I really don't know.
Yes, I do realize that I am blessed to have two stable parents who love me very much, taught me to be ambitious, and did teach me personal responsibility.
Prettygyrl, it does seem as if you're doing very well for yourself with a child, and you shouldn't be pigeonholed with those who aren't doing well for themselves, and repeat their "mistakes" (I don't know any other word) by having more children.
I think I know why girls who have kids before HS graduation aren't allowed to be debutantes, or at least this was the "traditional" reason and what still applies where I live. I'm not so sure if it's such a BAD thing. Debutante balls were created for those (in the upper classes) who were basically putting their daughters on the "marriage market". These women had usually graduated from high school and college with pristine records, from the best homes. The stigma against unwed mothers was much stronger then than it is now, but unwed mothers who hadn't finished high school were considered "immoral" (take that as you will, I'm just quoting someone who explained this to me). And to some extent, yes, they still are now. At the same time, a girl who was known to be sexually licentious (even without having a baby), drug users, disrespectful, or poor students. It was basically, and still is where I live, "a showcase for good little rich girls who never got caught". The group who did debutante balls where I grew up disbanded before I was of age (but, for the record, I was eligible and had been groomed). I don't think a young unwed mother really fits that description. Sorry to be blunt but it's true.
If anyone would like to discuss anything with me that's related to this topic, but NOT THIS TOPIC, feel free to email. I don't want to be the one responsible for getting this off topic.
Oh yeah...Conskeeted...have you ever had a safer sex program where you showed the girls how everything WORKS? (ie, the way to put a condom on--using a banana or artificial device, etc.). I wonder if the "hands-on" experience could do something for them.
[This message has been edited by AlphaChiGirl (edited February 06, 2001).]
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