I tried to pass this post up I really did but I am sooooooooo sensitive to things of this nature .....Anyway snazzylady you are wrong there are a alot of negative stigmas attached to unwed pregnancies LOTS and there is nothing CHIC about it! The media does not glamourize unwed pregnancies the media glamourizes premarital sex(which is the problem)Sweetie, stigmas definitely come along with the territory I do not know what world you live in, people look at you funny they make the wrong assumptions and some(as been my experience in these forums) even go as far as to say they do not want unwed mothers in there organizations, guys treat you differently etc etc etc.....I mean people are all smiling when one talks of their children then as soon as they ask that magical "Are you married " question and ones reponse is no and never been peoples whole exspression change, I am a mother with out a husband and I have ran into lots of BS I had a professor tell me that kids born out of wedlock grow up to have mental problems........I have people say I am immoral or promiscuous or whatever else comes to mind.......people ASSUME I am a bad parent because of and in my city if a young lady has any children before graduating she can not be a DEBUTANTE no matter how good her grades are........so you see dear there are alot of stigmas and we have to deal with alot of crap and what people fail to realize is shunning young women or talking about them or telling them how wrong and immoral they are will not help them at all, it actually hurts more, which in some cases leads young mothers to resent their children and mistreat them among other things........One of the biggest mistakes people make in trying to deter unwed pregnancies is to focus on the pregnancy as the problem when that is not the problem the problem is PREMARITAL SEX that is the problem that is the SIN people sit and tell young ladies and young men not have kids etc and etc but some fail to tell them what they need not do is have sex simple as that, but see then that would make most people seem hypocritical so they want to attach neg things too the whole unwed pregnancy thing when its the unwed sex that leads to the unwed pregnancy.........Telling a child not to get pregnant is not telling them not to have sex.......and then some make the mistake of trying to educate the young ladies with children and the young ladies with out together, that may work in some instantces but really they need a little different type of educating because two different approaches should be taken because what one does not want to do is make the young ladies with children feel like any less of a person and they should not be made to feel ashamed see shame breeds low self confidence and low self confidence breeds failure they should not be all the way happy with the mistake but they have to learn to accept it and know that it doesn't make them a bad person nor does it mean they will not succeed in life. They need to learn how to accept it, deal with it and try not to let it happen again, then they need to learn how to be good parents......with each young mother people do not usually know what life is or has been like for that person so how dare one condemn or expect the worse or assume the worse about that person..........People need to be genuine in their approach when trying to help these young girls meaning that you can not say you are going to help them then at the same time look down on them. A unwed mother can still be successful at anything a woman that has no children can be successful at AND they can be good a parent and it does not mean that their children will grow up to do the same thing either, I am a young unwed parent and I am a dam good parent, who services my community and is pulling a 3.9 GPA and I have a job and if my daughter were to have a child young or out of wedlock it would not have a dam thing to do with the fact that I did it. I agree that the young mothers probably need to talk to someone that has a child or children, but not just for the purpose of telling them how hard life is(that part will be obvious soon enough) but too also show them that they can still succeed and they are doomed to fail, this would give them something to look forward too so maybe they would not just sit around and have more.............
I read a post about how young mothers are to young to teach their children this or that something to that affect and I think she said she was not saying every young mother but some, and she is very right but I just want to add somethig else............ My parents were married when they got me and well established in their careers they were probably in their thirties or late twenties and let me tell you I was deprived, my mother did not teach me shit she did not spend 20% of the time with me and my siblings as I do with my children she did not know anything about us they did not give a dam what kind of grades we made or none of that shit.........I do beleive that those kids that shot up the schools in what was it colombine, their parents were married and had prominent careers and look how they turned out.......... I know a woman who had both of her parents in the house and now she is somewhere with about six kids and strung out on crack and a guy who had both parents they had lots of money yet he chose to hang around drug dealers and even sold drugs himself and still drove around the nice car his parents bought him they tried to get him away from this city so he went off to school at FAMU but he got kicked out for selling weed came back here and has not been back to school since! I know a young woman who had both parents who were very religous(not religous like too srict where kids rebel) they were actually good parents besides her they had four other kids two boys and three girls the oldest boy left when he was like 20 came home married to a woman like 32 with two kids then they had a kid he cheated on her she left him and now I don't even think he has a job and he is now like thirty six, the second son got heavy into drugs got out and is now shacking with his white girlfriend they have two kids , the oldest daughter has three kids one before she got married so because it looked bad she married this man that beat her like crazy then had another one then they got a divorce then she had a third one by him now he is jail because he was a big time drug dealer but she says she still loves him, now the middle girl ( the one I was initially talking about) she is the only one that went to college but not before getting into drugs heavily, getting pregnant in the ninth grade losing the baby, coming back to school going off to college coming back home getting pregnant again aborting, then pregnant again kept that one then pregnant again an aborting that one, the youngest girl got kicked out of highschool had to get her diploma through alternative school smokes weed like crazy sleeps around with everybody BUT she has never been pregnant so I guess that makes her the ideal woman RIGHT... I could go on for days point being bad parents come in all shapes and forms and some are even good parents but yet their kids turn out not so good because kids grow up and make their own choices. So see those young unwed mothers who had kids and deprived them were proabably going to be bad mothers with or without a husband or maybe it was not entirely their fault............
SORRY SO LONG THAT WAS JUST MY $200.00 WORTH
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